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danger of becoming addicted, until I persuaded him to get some counseling. He quit, and he’s never
gone back, except for an occasional drink now and then. Then it was women, a different one every
night. Until Connie.” She tugged at the sheet. “He’s never had much love. His parents died, and he
knew that Jackie was my favorite. It was only after Jackie died that I turned to Worth. He’s so used to
secondhand love, Amy. When Connie betrayed him, I suppose it was just the last straw. He’s drawn
into himself this past year. He talks about growing old, but always alone. And so much of it is my
fault. I’ve had a long time to live with my regrets.”
“I’m sorry,” Amy said. “For both of you.”
Jeanette smiled wearily. “I have been tossing you at Worth, I confess it. But you’re such a sweet
person, Amy. So giving. Worth needs someone happy and sunny like you, to balance him, to keep him
from growing cynical about life. If only he’d notice you.”
He already had, but Amy wasn’t going into that!
“Perhaps by the time he comes back from Bogota,” Jeanette murmured thoughtfully, “things will
have changed.”
Those words turned out to be prophetic. Several weeks went by with Amy growing weaker and
sicker by the day. By the sixth week, she was losing her breakfast regularly and certain that her worst
fears had been realized. A test at a local health clinic gave her the proof. She was pregnant.
Ten
E ven though she was expecting it, the news knocked Amelia to her knees. She’d been able to
keep sharp-eyed Jeanette from seeing her problem, but now what could she do? Worth hadn’t said
anything personal to her since he’d left the country. If he had to speak to her on the phone, he was
brief to the point of rudeness. Now he seemed to hate her, so how could she tell him that she was
pregnant?
Jeanette needed Amelia, now more than ever. But she’d have to leave eventually, when she
began to show. And then what? She couldn’t bear even the thought of having Worth find out. She
didn’t want to know how he’d react to being trapped. She already had the feeling that she was an
embarrassment to him—a used-up lover who was just in the way.
She was tormented by her own thoughts. She didn’t know what to do. She loved Worth. Part of
her was ecstatic about the baby. But a more sensible part was terrified. She thought about her
inability to support a second person, all the pitfalls of single parenthood, her parents’ reaction to her
unwed pregnancy. What a mess. And all the fault of misguided compassion.
The only person she could have talked to was Marla Sayers, but Marla was out of town with
Andy, visiting his mother. Amelia had had little contact with her friend since her job with the Carsons
began. Marla had been busy when Amelia was free, and vice versa. Now Amelia wished she’d tried
harder to maintain that friendship. She needed a friend now. And she remembered then, without
wanting to, what Worth had said—that he’d be her best friend. And she started crying.
Her emotions were balanced on razor edge. She cried at the drop of a hat. She lost her appetite,
because she was sick so much. And sometimes she tired so easily that it was really frightening. She
felt that she could sleep straight through for days. The physical signs grew as well. Her breasts
became swollen. Her waistline began to expand. And all the while she wondered what to do, and
knew that things were going to get critical all too soon.
Worth’s calls had decreased to one a week, and thank God he hadn’t mentioned anything to
Jeanette about coming home. But it was Jeanette who brought things to a head.
As Amelia was reading a letter to her one night, she fixed a level gaze on the young woman and
asked point-blank, “Are you pregnant, Amy?”
The letter fell to the floor and Amelia stammered around for a reply. But what could she say?
“Yes,” she said miserably, and stared down at her feet. She was wearing a floppy blouse and an
unbuttoned pair of slacks, and she felt as big as a house even though she was barely two and a half
months along. Incredible to think Worth had been gone that long.
“It’s been a long time,” Jeanette said softly, “but I remember so well how it felt when I carried
my son. It was my happiest year. But it isn’t yours, is it, dear?”
Amelia shook her head. “I…don’t know what to do, you see. My parents would be scandalized.
They’re churchgoing people. They live in a small community, and they didn’t raise me to be
promiscuous.”
“You don’t seem like a promiscuous girl to me, Amy,” came the quiet reply. “It must have been
just before you came to work for me. Do you love the father?”
Amelia nodded, but she couldn’t lift her eyes.
“And how does he feel?”
Her lips twitched. “He doesn’t know,” she said huskily. “He seems to have no use for me now. It
was just a one-night thing. I was crazy about him, and he needed me.” Her shoulders lifted and fell.
“And then just that quickly, he didn’t want me any more. The classic situation. I suppose I panicked
when I turned twenty-eight and I was alone and unmarried. Well, I’m still unmarried,” she added,
glancing up ruefully. “But I sure won’t be alone much longer.”
Jeanette nibbled on her lower lip. “There’s no chance this man might want to marry you and
acknowledge the child?”
“He would probably deny that it was his,” she returned. “He hates me, and that’s no lie. I’m an
embarrassment to him now.”
“He doesn’t sound like much of a prize,” the elderly woman huffed. “You’re better off without
him. But, Amy, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to get another job,” she said gently. “I’m sorry. But you must see that I can’t stay here
now.”
Jeanette glared at her. “I’m not too old to have a child around.”
“Of course you aren’t,” Amelia placated, “but Worth wouldn’t like it. You know he wouldn’t.
He and I fight all the time lately. He resents the very fact of my presence. He always has.”
“I know. I kept hoping that things might improve between you, you know,” the older woman
confessed. “But I could see the day he left that it had been rough sailing.”
“It would get worse if he knew I was pregnant,” Amelia continued. She had to keep Jeanette
from telling him about the child, but without letting her know why. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t
tell him. I…want to get away, before he comes back.”
“Oh, I see,” Jeanette said suddenly, her eyes kind and sad, too, and Amelia’s heart stopped dead.
The older woman sighed. “You think that his opinion of you would be even worse if he knew, don’t
you? But, my dear, he isn’t such a bear, and he does realize that people are human, that they make
mistakes. You might give him a chance….”
“No,” Amelia said. “I couldn’t bear it if he knew. Please, promise you won’t tell him.”
“All right. I promise, dear.”
“I’ll go home, for the time being,” Amelia said, thinking ahead. “I won’t tell my parents yet, but
I’ll go home and think it all out. I have to have a little time. And I’m not showing much yet. My [ Pobierz caÅ‚ość w formacie PDF ]