[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

forcibly upon the lid to keep it down while I secured it with nails; and I anticipated, of course, that as soon as
these latter were removed, the top would fly off and the body up.
Having thus arranged the box, I marked, numbered, and addressed it as already told; and then writing a letter
in the name of the wine merchants with whom Mr. Shuttleworthy dealt, I gave instructions to my servant to
wheel the box to Mr. Goodfellow's door, in a barrow, at a given signal from myself. For the words which I
intended the corpse to speak, I confidently depended upon my ventriloquial abilities; for their effect, I counted
upon the conscience of the murderous wretch.
I believe there is nothing more to be explained. Mr. Pennifeather was released upon the spot, inherited the
fortune of his uncle, profited by the lessons of experience, turned over a new leaf, and led happily ever
afterward a new life.
~~~ End of Text ~~~
WHY THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN WEARS HIS HAND IN A SLING
IT'S on my visiting cards sure enough (and it's them that's all o' pink satin paper) that inny gintleman that
plases may behould the intheristhin words, "Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, 39 Southampton Row,
34
Russell Square, Parrish o' Bloomsbury." And shud ye be wantin' to diskiver who is the pink of purliteness
quite, and the laider of the hot tun in the houl city o' Lonon -- why it's jist mesilf. And fait that same is no
wonder at all at all (so be plased to stop curlin your nose), for every inch o' the six wakes that I've been a
gintleman, and left aff wid the bogthrothing to take up wid the Barronissy, it's Pathrick that's been living like a
houly imperor, and gitting the iddication and the graces. Och! and wouldn't it be a blessed thing for your
spirrits if ye cud lay your two peepers jist, upon Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, when he is all riddy
drissed for the hopperer, or stipping into the Brisky for the drive into the Hyde Park. But it's the illigant big
figgur that I ave, for the rason o' which all the ladies fall in love wid me. Isn't it my own swate silf now that'll
missure the six fut, and the three inches more nor that, in me stockins, and that am excadingly will
proportioned all over to match? And it is ralelly more than three fut and a bit that there is, inny how, of the
little ould furrener Frinchman that lives jist over the way, and that's a oggling and a goggling the houl day,
(and bad luck to him,) at the purty widdy Misthress Tracle that's my own nixt-door neighbor, (God bliss her!)
and a most particuller frind and acquaintance? You percave the little spalpeen is summat down in the mouth,
and wears his lift hand in a sling, and it's for that same thing, by yur lave, that I'm going to give you the good
rason.
The truth of the houl matter is jist simple enough; for the very first day that I com'd from Connaught, and
showd my swate little silf in the strait to the widdy, who was looking through the windy, it was a gone case
althegither with the heart o' the purty Misthress Tracle. I percaved it, ye see, all at once, and no mistake, and
that's God's truth. First of all it was up wid the windy in a jiffy, and thin she threw open her two peepers to the
itmost, and thin it was a little gould spy-glass that she clapped tight to one o' them and divil may burn me if it
didn't spake to me as plain as a peeper cud spake, and says it, through the spy-glass: "Och! the tip o' the
mornin' to ye, Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, mavourneen; and it's a nate gintleman that ye are, sure
enough, and it's mesilf and me forten jist that'll be at yur sarvice, dear, inny time o' day at all at all for the
asking." And it's not mesilf ye wud have to be bate in the purliteness; so I made her a bow that wud ha' broken
yur heart altegither to behould, and thin I pulled aff me hat with a flourish, and thin I winked at her hard wid
both eyes, as much as to say, "True for you, yer a swate little crature, Mrs. Tracle, me darlint, and I wish I
may be drownthed dead in a bog, if it's not mesilf, Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, that'll make a houl
bushel o' love to yur leddyship, in the twinkling o' the eye of a Londonderry purraty."
And it was the nixt mornin', sure, jist as I was making up me mind whither it wouldn't be the purlite thing to
sind a bit o' writin' to the widdy by way of a love-litter, when up com'd the delivery servant wid an illigant
card, and he tould me that the name on it (for I niver could rade the copperplate printin on account of being
lift handed) was all about Mounseer, the Count, A Goose, Look -- aisy, Maiter-di-dauns, and that the houl of
the divilish lingo was the spalpeeny long name of the little ould furrener Frinchman as lived over the way.
And jist wid that in cum'd the little willian himself, and then he made me a broth of a bow, and thin he said he
had ounly taken the liberty of doing me the honor of the giving me a call, and thin he went on to palaver at a
great rate, and divil the bit did I comprehind what he wud be afther the tilling me at all at all, excipting and
saving that he said "pully wou, woolly wou," and tould me, among a bushel o' lies, bad luck to him, that he
was mad for the love o' my widdy Misthress Tracle, and that my widdy Mrs. Tracle had a puncheon for him.
At the hearin' of this, ye may swear, though, I was as mad as a grasshopper, but I remimbered that I was Sir
Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, and that it wasn't althegither gentaal to lit the anger git the upper hand o' the
purliteness, so I made light o' the matter and kipt dark, and got quite sociable wid the little chap, and afther a
while what did he do but ask me to go wid him to the widdy's, saying he wud give me the feshionable
inthroduction to her leddyship.
"Is it there ye are?" said I thin to mesilf, "and it's thrue for you, Pathrick, that ye're the fortunittest mortal in
life. We'll soon see now whither it's your swate silf, or whither it's little Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns, that
Misthress Tracle is head and ears in the love wid."
35
Wid that we wint aff to the widdy's, next door, and ye may well say it was an illigant place; so it was. There
was a carpet all over the floor, and in one corner there was a forty-pinny and a Jew's harp and the divil knows
what ilse, and in another corner was a sofy, the beautifullest thing in all natur, and sitting on the sofy, sure
enough, there was the swate little angel, Misthress Tracle.
"The tip o' the mornin' to ye," says I, "Mrs. Tracle," and thin I made sich an illigant obaysance that it wud ha
quite althegither bewildered the brain o' ye.
"Wully woo, pully woo, plump in the mud," says the little furrenner Frinchman, "and sure Mrs. Tracle," says
he, that he did, "isn't this gintleman here jist his reverence Sir Pathrick O'Grandison, Barronitt, and isn't he
althegither and entirely the most particular frind and acquaintance that I have in the houl world?"
And wid that the widdy, she gits up from the sofy, and makes the swatest curthchy nor iver was seen; and thin
down she sits like an angel; and thin, by the powers, it was that little spalpeen Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns that
plumped his silf right down by the right side of her. Och hon! I ixpicted the two eyes o' me wud ha cum'd out
of my head on the spot, I was so dispirate mad! Howiver, "Bait who!" says I, after awhile. "Is it there ye are,
Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns?" and so down I plumped on the lift side of her leddyship, to be aven with the
willain. Botheration! it wud ha done your heart good to percave the illigant double wink that I gived her jist
thin right in the face with both eyes. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]