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it may seem, the writers fear having their experiences found
out. They fear ridicule from their friends and business
associates. So great is their dread of ever having anyone know
they were out of their body, since such an occurrence seems
unthinkable to the average person, that they will not even allow
me to quote their experience. One thing at least can be said in
favour of this fear: it strongly indicates sincerity on the part of
the correspondents, and certainly eliminates the argument that
they are trying to get their names before the public."
In contrast to this childish solicitude, here is a story told
by a man who might have had reason to preserve the public's
confidence in his sanity. William Gerhardi, already with an
admirable literary reputation, ran the risk of tarnishing it by
incorporating in Resurrection his own unexpected experience
of Etheric projection, and gave us, moreover, in that
bewildering novel, the reactions to his account of it, at a Ball,
of his partners and acquaintances.
He was thirty-seven, writing a book which had
immortality for its theme, expecting no revelation as to the
future, but, withal, since it seemed to threaten to obliterate his
reality from the world, fearing and resenting death.
All that may have had nothing to do with what followed.
62
Who can say? He lay down to get a couple of hours' sleep
before dressing for dinner, dreamt, to his great disgust, that he
had broken a tooth, but when, pulling it out, it turned to molten
toffee, he realized that he was dreaming, and forced himself
awake. (We shall meet that process later in Oliver Fox's
methods.) His narrative continues:
"But I awoke with a start. Because I had stretched out my
hand to press the switch of the lamp on the bookshelf over my
bed, and instead found myself grasping the void, and myself
suspended precariously in mid-air, perhaps on a level with the
bookcase. The room, except for the glow of the electric stove,
was in darkness, but all around me was a milky pellucid light. I
was that moment fully awake and so fully conscious that I
could not doubt my senses. Astonished as I have never been
before, amazed to the point of proud exhilaration, I said to
myself 'Fancy that I Now would you have believed it!... And
this is not a dream.' It was just like the very things I did not and
could not have believed; and here it was. It seemed to me
almost ludicrous.... I felt as if I were being suspended by a steel
arm which held me rigid  me, in comparison, weighing the
weight of a feather. Then, with astonishing swiftness, as if the
steel force which held me rigid was electrified to a bout of
energy by the sudden apprehension which succeeded my first
moment of delighted astonishment, I was seized, pushed out
horizontally, placed on my feet, and thrust forward with the
gentle-firm hand of the monitor: 'There you are, my good man,
now you can proceed on your own.' I stood there, the same
living being, but rather less stable, as if I were defying gravity.
"I was awed and not a little frightened that I was in the
body of my Resurrection. So that's what it is like? How utterly
unforeseen! I staggered uncertainly, and full of fear, to the
door. I felt the handle, but to my discomfiture I could not turn
it; there was no grip in my hand; it seemed unreal.
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"Then my body turned round. And turning, I became
aware for the first time of a strange appendage. At the back of
me was a coil of light, like a luminous garden hose resembling
the strong broad ray of dusty light at the back of a dark cinema
projecting on the screen in front. To my utter astonishment,
that broad cable of light at the back of me illumined the face on
the pillow, as if attached to the brow of the sleeper. The sleeper
was myself not dead, but breathing peacefully, my mouth
slightly open... and here was I outside it, watching it with a
thrill of joy and fear.... Yet it wasn't my accustomed self, it was
as if my mould was walking through a murky heavy space
which, however, gave way easily before my emptiness. 'Now
how will I get out?' I thought with more sadness than fear, as if
I felt somebody had done me down, taken all the strength out
of my wrist. The same moment I was pushed forward, the door
passed through me, or I through the door, with an absence of
resistance remarkable after wading through the heavy space.... I
was interested to note that humour did not evaporate in my
ghostly mode. I did not think of anything wildly funny, but my
spirits were distinctly high....
"There was this uncanny tape of light between us, like the
umbilical cord, by means of which the body on the bed was
kept breathing while its mould wandered about the flat through [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]